'Because these concepts are not based on his own valuing, they tend to be fixed and rigid, rather than fluid and changing… [and] because the center of our lives now lies in others, we are fearful and insecure…
…This fundamental discrepancy between the individual’s concepts and what he is actually experiencing, between the intellectual structure of his values and the valuing process going on unrecognized within him – this is a part of the fundamental estrangement of modern man from himself.”'
This is so crucial. It seems as though in the lack of any deeply rooted sense of self we project any number of surrogate selves into the perception (or imagined perception) of others, i.e. how we are perceived by others. I think this really saps us from the outside as it quite literally causes other people to be a leech on our own sense of self instead of fully recognised other selves that we can meet on their own terms. Everyone becomes themselves primarily in relation to us, - they become bearers of a certain idea of us that it then becomes our job to maintain.
It's something I'm fascinated by, especially since I've noticed a steep decline in my own anxious tendencies once I did some work to reclaim my sense of self for myself. I've tried to explore it in my own writings, specifically this piece: https://somethingishappening.substack.com/p/call-back-your-avatars
Anyway, this is the first piece of yours that I've read but you've caught my attention right away, and I'm looking forward to reading more.
'Because these concepts are not based on his own valuing, they tend to be fixed and rigid, rather than fluid and changing… [and] because the center of our lives now lies in others, we are fearful and insecure…
…This fundamental discrepancy between the individual’s concepts and what he is actually experiencing, between the intellectual structure of his values and the valuing process going on unrecognized within him – this is a part of the fundamental estrangement of modern man from himself.”'
This is so crucial. It seems as though in the lack of any deeply rooted sense of self we project any number of surrogate selves into the perception (or imagined perception) of others, i.e. how we are perceived by others. I think this really saps us from the outside as it quite literally causes other people to be a leech on our own sense of self instead of fully recognised other selves that we can meet on their own terms. Everyone becomes themselves primarily in relation to us, - they become bearers of a certain idea of us that it then becomes our job to maintain.
It's something I'm fascinated by, especially since I've noticed a steep decline in my own anxious tendencies once I did some work to reclaim my sense of self for myself. I've tried to explore it in my own writings, specifically this piece: https://somethingishappening.substack.com/p/call-back-your-avatars
Anyway, this is the first piece of yours that I've read but you've caught my attention right away, and I'm looking forward to reading more.